Bitten by a snake.
In 1987 I had managed to progress in 3 years from being a homeless person to a semi-respectable member of the farming community.
I had the good fortune to have set myself up as a tenant farmer in a nice place and was making good money. The long term plan was to purchase the farm itself.

In the shorter term, the plan was usually to get wasted once a week when I had arranged the following day off.
A night out usually involved a meal and as much liquid as could be consumed before last orders.
On the fateful night which changed my life, I was visited by a group of friends and we decided to start the session on snakebite.

I don't recall if we remembered to eat anything but I do recall how I found myself "resting" on the concrete patio at home having fallen off some steps in a drunken stumble.

They say if you are alcoholically relaxed that you don't hurt yourself as much as a sober person might, they aren't always right.
Enquiries as to my condition were rebuffed with a cheery "I'm fine, just twisted my ankle, I'll be back in a minute"

I never did make it back indoors, instead I was transported to the hospital in Norwich where it was discovered that I'd broken my ankle in 12 lovely fractures.

The worst was yet to come as it was then decided that due to my intense intoxication, I was to wait 24 hours until I could go into surgery to screw the sorry mess back together.

The nurses came and breathalysed me periodically, shook their heads and said " not yet, still wayyy over" into my sad dehydrated face, again and again.
Eventually I awoke to a surgical team washing up the power tools and was told that I was fixed.

Thanks to the amazing job that the surgeon did I still have no pain or discomfort today more than 25 years on.
I know I cost the health service a lot of money, but I paid for my stupidity in many ways.
I lost my business because I couldn't function in a cast and I didn't walk properly for more than 6 months.

Remember kids, booze can fuck up your life in more ways than one.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 15:13, 3 replies)

Well done on the progress..
And well done on being such a paragon of drunkeness. I doff my cap to you, Sir.
( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 20:41, closed)

It's good to look back
and remember what a one-eyed cock-head you were, and realize that you are not that so much anymore.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 23:38, closed)

I was unlucky I reckon.
I mean, I was a stupid drunken waste of space, but mainly unlucky.

Like a sort of idiot bare knuckle prize fighter I bear the scars of many drinking injuries, the ankle being the largest and most expensive.

I like to think I'm very much better at drinking these days, almost every weekend goes by without incident.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 23:47, closed)