VIVE LA FRANCE
while on a year long sabbatical to france (to dry out) i took in the fête des lumières in lyons - the festival of lights dates back to the 12th century when st mary purged the city's plague by getting the gullible folk of the old town to place candles in their windows. by some coincidence the plague left and the lyonnais mark this event annually with window filled candles and booze. not having the remotest interest in the candles i stuck with the booze and at the end of the night was accompanied (carried) by 2 english student girlies to the last nightbus out of town. this is where my face conducted its very own fête des lumières worrying fellow passengers within spraying distance that at any given moment i would be producing my own wine. swaying in circles and feeling ever more dizzy, the warm bus and winding roads did nothing for my second fermentation, so when someone signalled to "stop ze bus", the driver heaved on the brakes, the passengers parted like the dead sea and i was propelled forward through the doors and out into the fresh air.

unfortunately this is where i felt a lot better thanks.

not taking no for an answer, the driver looked through the clear glass bus shelter at me from his seat pointing first at his watch and then down his throat. with all eyes on me i could only find a lampost to conserve my dignity.

staggering back on the bus and with cantonaesque wisdom i signalled for the driver to wait while i offer a few words (in french): "zanks to ze lady oo stopped ze bus, to ze driver for being so patient and to all of you for being so understanding. VIVE LA FRANCE" and with that the whole bus erupted in spontaneous applause, the driver dropped the handbrake and we were off!

you'll notice i had forgotten to thank the girls for getting me on the bus in the first place, so if you're reading this - cheers!
(chives, Fri 20 Aug 2004, 7:57, Reply)