My Worst Vomit
We all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
( , Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
We all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
( , Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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Purgational Trifecta
1. About six years old, attending a party at some rich old fart's house. I think I am going to be sick, but I don't know anything about this house, except it was huuuge and full of expensive ugly grandma-crap, and I just knew I wouldn't find the bath in time, so I discreetly puked into a closet. Unfortunately it was the guest coat closet, and afterwards I had to put on my best angel face as everyone wondered which of the dogs had done this bad stinky low-ph thing.
2. In seventh grade, one kid simply opened his mouth and a horizontal jet of barf shot out and besplatted the neck of the boy in front of him, and then fanned out in a beautiful peacock-tail pattern. Not my vomit, I know, but I got some splashback and a visually arresting memory.
3. I learned as a tot that Brazil nuts made me puke like a mother bird working the school lunch line. Ever the scientist, I decided to eat samples of every other nut I could find to determine just how allergic I was. During the two weeks or so I was experimenting I think I put out more than went in, and even today just the smell of filberts gets me all hurly.
Oddly enough, never went the booze route in College - just huge quantities of hallucinogens, thank you. I will puke no more forever.
( , Tue 24 Aug 2004, 6:28, Reply)
1. About six years old, attending a party at some rich old fart's house. I think I am going to be sick, but I don't know anything about this house, except it was huuuge and full of expensive ugly grandma-crap, and I just knew I wouldn't find the bath in time, so I discreetly puked into a closet. Unfortunately it was the guest coat closet, and afterwards I had to put on my best angel face as everyone wondered which of the dogs had done this bad stinky low-ph thing.
2. In seventh grade, one kid simply opened his mouth and a horizontal jet of barf shot out and besplatted the neck of the boy in front of him, and then fanned out in a beautiful peacock-tail pattern. Not my vomit, I know, but I got some splashback and a visually arresting memory.
3. I learned as a tot that Brazil nuts made me puke like a mother bird working the school lunch line. Ever the scientist, I decided to eat samples of every other nut I could find to determine just how allergic I was. During the two weeks or so I was experimenting I think I put out more than went in, and even today just the smell of filberts gets me all hurly.
Oddly enough, never went the booze route in College - just huge quantities of hallucinogens, thank you. I will puke no more forever.
( , Tue 24 Aug 2004, 6:28, Reply)
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