Christmas party, 1999
My birthday is a week before Christmas. The works Christmas do, by some freak coincidence, is also a week before Christmas. This to me spells opportunity with a capital PISSUP.

So I make a point of mentioning to a few guys there that it's my birthday. On to a winner here - 4 pints later and I haven't dipped into my pocket yet. Then comes the vengeance shot.

"Sure, I'll buy you a drink, as long as you drink it"

Now a sober person knows this line and it's hidden meaning. Me on the other hand thought it was a damn good idea. Cue half a pint of Top Shelf.

For those unfamiliar with this fine beverage, it's a fine selection of the most ping-pong tiddly in the nuclear sub. This glass has a 20% vol minimum requirement for any spirit desiring entry. Fortunately, this was before Absinthe was back in fashion.

Being young, naive and fairly new at the job, I had an obvious desire to show my worth. So I necked this drink. In one. How I wish this was the end.

At this point I'm not feeling as bad as I expected. Now it's entirely possible that my liver is simply in shock and will be getting back to me later, but right now I just feel nicely pissed. Cue new girlfriend. 1 pint. Contents similar to previous drink, followed by top ups from the glass of everyone in the pub. It doesn't look pleasant. I say no way. She says "you better fucking drink it, that just cost me a tenner" I think "you asked for it"

Last memories of the night: Removed from pub at 8:30pm. Taxi fare £45 for a usual £3 fare. Was told the next day that I had the decency to put the plugs in before filling every sink in the gents with my stomach lining. Oh yeah, and I spent New Years Eve, 1999, in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

For some reason, I've never really felt welcome in that pub since. I think it's the fact that the closest I've been to it is bouncers arms length away. Fucking good night though.
(bblgoose, Tue 24 Aug 2004, 11:23, Reply)