Fear of flying
This is cheating a bit because it's not my vomit but it has scarred my memory permanently.

In days gone by I used to spend a lot of time flying across the Atlantic, one of the perils of a long distance relationship. Leaving aside the cramped seats, shitty food and grumpy passengers one of the regular features was turbulence.

One flight we were having a particularly rough time of it. The Fasten Seat belt light had gone on within an hour of leaving the ground and had stayed on and the plane was jumping around like a first time raver on a good pill.

Now turbulence itself isn't a problem if you know anything about aircraft. Planes can take an incredible amount of punishment before anything serious happens and in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure or a reduction in the number of wings you're fucked anyway so it's not worth worrying about. However, lots of people get really freaked out by turbulence, both mentally and physically.

This flight was about the worst buffeting I've received and inevitably people started throwing up. In days of yore sick bags were automatically issued in the seats but now the cabin crew have to hand them out individually it seems and they were tearing up and down dealing with little bags of recycled airline food. The more people were sick th worse the plane smelled and you had a vomit chain reaction forming.

But the worst of all, the worst I've ever seen was when the plane hit a massive air pocket – a downdraft that left it dropping like a stone. One of the cabin crew levitated up to the ceiling, there was a cry of horror from the bathroom but the image that will haunt me to my grave is the sight of a mushroom cloud of vomit rising up from behind one of the forward seats, drifting higher and higher until we were through the downdraft and it splashed down. I can only hope the producer was the receiver.
(paxvobiscum, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 20:37, 5 replies)

Loving the mental image!
*click*
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 20:51, closed)

Holy fuck
*click* for the description.

I've only flown 6 times (3 journeys there and back), but on every flight we all had a sick bag each in the seat pocket where they give you your magazine and socks.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 22:33, closed)

ohhhhh
wonderfully descriptive, i feel as though i've seen it now. i'm just glad i can't smell it too.

have a *click*
(thebarkingdog, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 3:08, closed)

click for...
...unsettling descriptive powers.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 15:47, closed)

and i thought i'd had some bad flights...
(Turbo Blackbeard And then squirry the squirrel went nee nee nee nee, Sun 10 Jan 2010, 15:04, closed)