On downing your drink, do NOT inhale.
I was all of about 17, one those really hair-raising times to be drinking in pubs. Old enough that you can plan to go out and usually get served, and old enough for it to be humiliating when you don't...

So, we were at a Wetherspoons, it having the dubious advantages of being both (a) filthy-cheap, and (b) willing to serve anybody not actually wearing school uniform. So, we settled into a nice big table near the back.

Less than 1 pint in, and some genius clown decides that we should do a 'strawpedo'. For the uninitiated, this is a method of downing a bottle of disgusting (often fizzy) drink as quickly as possible, using a staw to allow air into the bottle quicker, and alcohol out faster.

I am not very good at this kind of thing, being much more of a 'sit-quietly-and-then-talk-bollocks-at-increasing-volumes-as-the-night-progresses' kind of drunk, but in the spirit of mutual bonding, I give it a whirl.

As the title of this post hints, I made a fatal error of judgement and at a crucial moment, gulped some sickly-sweet-chav-juice down into my lungs, rather than my stomach. Coughing ensued, followed by choking, followed rather swiftly by the entire contents of my stomach. This, upsettingly, included my only-recently-consumed dinner, which was a hearty grey-coloured mushroom soup, with big chunks of real mushroom.

It is a mark of quality of an establishment, how they deal with wankers who sick-up all over the table. This pub merely sent a rather angry looking johnny-no-stars bar-staff to mop up the table, and we moved 2 tables along to continue our drinking.

Sorry, horrible-little-pub, I really did mean no harm.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Fri 8 Jan 2010, 19:13, Reply)