Pizza Hut 1990 - First Date Blues
I took my first long term squeaze to the Pizza Hut, (I was a student pauper, it was all I could afford).

She was beautiful, (although she worked in Woolworths on a Saturday, and put tissue paper in her bra cups to give one the illusion of larger mammary glands.), long brown hair and legs all the way up to her armpits (I suppose on reflection the lack of a body might've put some men off).

We went after her stint in Woolies to the Pizza Hut, and were shown to a table by the long picture window, which looked out on to the street.

The whole meal was a disaster, the waiter forgot the eating irons, He bought the wrong pizzas over, split coke on my date's lap and then failed to mop it up. I was 16, very naive and had no concept of how to complain effectively.

However the cap on the evening was when a local vagrant appeared at the window next to us, and proceeded to masturbate to orgasm on the glass.
I still have nightmares about hot rivulets of tramp-jizz rolling down a window whilst a gurning, thoroughly sated vagrant stares in longingly at my meat feast.
(Vic Flange, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 15:57, 1 reply)

This is so wrong
but also hilarious
( Doomladen ms paint lover, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 17:19, closed)