The Wank Bank
What experiences have you had that you've stored in your wank bank - share them so we can start a mutual wanking building society
( , Thu 23 Aug 2012, 14:15)
What experiences have you had that you've stored in your wank bank - share them so we can start a mutual wanking building society
( , Thu 23 Aug 2012, 14:15)
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Suburban Raver
I don't get to go clubbing much now that I'm old and have kids, but by crikey I love a bit of chemically enhanced flailing now and again, so it's a bonus when me and the missus get invited to house parties by a group of school Mums.
At one such front room knees up, I was greeted by the sight of a gorgeous blonde writhing around on the 'dancefloor' in tight leather hotpants and tiny top. After a bit of investigation it turned out that she was Russian, off her tits and in the middle of a mid-thirties sexual renaissance. "Please don't fuck her, she's my brother's wife" implored one bloke. I promised to do my best, but as I was there with the wife I was sure it wouldn't be difficult to keep my promise.
"Kristina" (Names changed to protect the innocent) seemed to have different plans and constantly kept hitting on me, outrageously. As I was standing there with one arm around wifey and the other around her best friend, she would try and drag me onto the dance floor "Dance with me, I vant you!" she kept saying, trying to kiss the three of us (Girls definitely not impressed).
Ordinarily I would have spirited her away and banged her stupid but she'd started to annoy me by this time by a) being unreachable due to presence of aforementioned wife and b) wriggling around on top of the DJ's records (didn't bother the DJ, whose eyes were on stalks). It was with great pleasure that I hit her with the immortal line "Sorry Love, I'll have to turn you down. I'll tell you what though, you ARE fucking hot!" to which she answered "I know. I show you!" and tottered back into the middle of the room, did some more writhing and showed me her tits.
Later, I found a pal in the garden wistfully staring into space after having had a quick fumble with her (punching well above his considerable weight), we both agreed that it was a night whose memories would live for ever in our respective banks.
No apologies for length, said another mate who audibly spent the rest of the night doing what every bloke at the party wished they could.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:05, 7 replies)
I don't get to go clubbing much now that I'm old and have kids, but by crikey I love a bit of chemically enhanced flailing now and again, so it's a bonus when me and the missus get invited to house parties by a group of school Mums.
At one such front room knees up, I was greeted by the sight of a gorgeous blonde writhing around on the 'dancefloor' in tight leather hotpants and tiny top. After a bit of investigation it turned out that she was Russian, off her tits and in the middle of a mid-thirties sexual renaissance. "Please don't fuck her, she's my brother's wife" implored one bloke. I promised to do my best, but as I was there with the wife I was sure it wouldn't be difficult to keep my promise.
"Kristina" (Names changed to protect the innocent) seemed to have different plans and constantly kept hitting on me, outrageously. As I was standing there with one arm around wifey and the other around her best friend, she would try and drag me onto the dance floor "Dance with me, I vant you!" she kept saying, trying to kiss the three of us (Girls definitely not impressed).
Ordinarily I would have spirited her away and banged her stupid but she'd started to annoy me by this time by a) being unreachable due to presence of aforementioned wife and b) wriggling around on top of the DJ's records (didn't bother the DJ, whose eyes were on stalks). It was with great pleasure that I hit her with the immortal line "Sorry Love, I'll have to turn you down. I'll tell you what though, you ARE fucking hot!" to which she answered "I know. I show you!" and tottered back into the middle of the room, did some more writhing and showed me her tits.
Later, I found a pal in the garden wistfully staring into space after having had a quick fumble with her (punching well above his considerable weight), we both agreed that it was a night whose memories would live for ever in our respective banks.
No apologies for length, said another mate who audibly spent the rest of the night doing what every bloke at the party wished they could.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:05, 7 replies)
Bit harsh.
It sounds very much like it was the only time in his entire life that a woman flirted with him.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 20:11, closed)
It sounds very much like it was the only time in his entire life that a woman flirted with him.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 20:11, closed)
Dunno where you live,
but if someone was doing that at a party with parents in my kids class, she'd be taken out by the Mums and drowned in the fishpond.
The Dads would enjoy it though.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:40, closed)
but if someone was doing that at a party with parents in my kids class, she'd be taken out by the Mums and drowned in the fishpond.
The Dads would enjoy it though.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:40, closed)
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