The Wank Bank
What experiences have you had that you've stored in your wank bank - share them so we can start a mutual wanking building society
( , Thu 23 Aug 2012, 14:15)
What experiences have you had that you've stored in your wank bank - share them so we can start a mutual wanking building society
( , Thu 23 Aug 2012, 14:15)
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Still does it for me
In John Lewis trailing around after gf, for some reason she's dragged me over to the shaving section and is insisting I buy something effective. Of course, just to spice things up, I complain that she's hardly the cleanest shaved either.
Which is how I found myself browsing depilators. Horrible little things that rip your hairs out from the roots. Anyways, a helpful assistant comes over; pretty 20 something girl, long hair, slim, in a lovely uniform which was somehow both conservative, but very suggestive of the shapes underneath.
We (gf & I) are totally lost in this world of strange hair removal devices so, sensing an opportunity for some fun, I ask the assistant if she could advise. She looks around a little furtively; we are standing in the middle of the shop, but there's no one else near.
She leans in imperceptibly and tells us that she likes to keep well trimmed.
She likes a Brazilian. Do we...?
Yes yes, we know what that is.
But she prefers to wax.
It's quicker than the depilators which she finds too painful.
A few more words and we leave.
Christ; I had the raging horn.
I still do whenever I think about the time a pretty stranger described herself to me in the middle of a shop and I had to keep perfect, perfect composure.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 17:15, 8 replies)
In John Lewis trailing around after gf, for some reason she's dragged me over to the shaving section and is insisting I buy something effective. Of course, just to spice things up, I complain that she's hardly the cleanest shaved either.
Which is how I found myself browsing depilators. Horrible little things that rip your hairs out from the roots. Anyways, a helpful assistant comes over; pretty 20 something girl, long hair, slim, in a lovely uniform which was somehow both conservative, but very suggestive of the shapes underneath.
We (gf & I) are totally lost in this world of strange hair removal devices so, sensing an opportunity for some fun, I ask the assistant if she could advise. She looks around a little furtively; we are standing in the middle of the shop, but there's no one else near.
She leans in imperceptibly and tells us that she likes to keep well trimmed.
She likes a Brazilian. Do we...?
Yes yes, we know what that is.
But she prefers to wax.
It's quicker than the depilators which she finds too painful.
A few more words and we leave.
Christ; I had the raging horn.
I still do whenever I think about the time a pretty stranger described herself to me in the middle of a shop and I had to keep perfect, perfect composure.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 17:15, 8 replies)
No, you're thinking of epileptics.
And I know just HOW you're thinking of them.
In a paddling pool filled with jelly lit by a strobe light on a glitterball.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 18:15, closed)
And I know just HOW you're thinking of them.
In a paddling pool filled with jelly lit by a strobe light on a glitterball.
( , Fri 24 Aug 2012, 18:15, closed)
Ah go on with you.
You're only wondering what it's like to have a girl speak to you instead of shouting "go away, I have an alarm and a can of mace".
( , Sat 25 Aug 2012, 0:13, closed)
You're only wondering what it's like to have a girl speak to you instead of shouting "go away, I have an alarm and a can of mace".
( , Sat 25 Aug 2012, 0:13, closed)
I've got two daughters.
That would possibly be preferable to the utter bollocks they normally say.
( , Sat 25 Aug 2012, 8:26, closed)
That would possibly be preferable to the utter bollocks they normally say.
( , Sat 25 Aug 2012, 8:26, closed)
There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn
( , Sat 25 Aug 2012, 12:25, closed)
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