Here comes the (social) sciency bit
First, I must declare an interest: I agree with every pixel in every character of the OP's post.

But having said that, I have heard the following theory to explain this otherwise baffling phemomenon:

The natural state of humans is to live in tribes or villages. The maximum comfortable size is about 150; more than that you can't keep track of even as vague acquaintances. Members of such societies naturally know pretty much what everyone is up to - gossip is an anthropological universal.

Now, in modern western society we tend to be far more isolated. Many people know almost nothing about their neighbours, and apart from their friends treat everyone else in the city as potentially threatening strangers.

So, the theory is that soaps, with their ongoing (fucking endless) tales of trauma, misery and betrayal, satisfy the unfulfilled need to be part of a village environment. We (or rather soap fans) replace a real village with a fantasy one.

Which also explains why many people (though I use the term loosely) seem to have trouble separating the characters from the actors.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:58, 2 replies)

Is this a long-winded way of saying that
most people are mouth-breathing morons?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:27, closed)

Hmmm...
Sounds like a reasonable suggestion. So what you're basically saying is that people who follow soaps are unevolved simians? I'll buy that for a dollar.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Sun 16 Oct 2011, 17:58, closed)