"Marcus Cabbage Foot"
I went to a shitty comprehensive in deepest darkest Somerset, and because of this I have never before or since met such a bunch of inbred carrot-crunching semi-illiterate freaks. Don't get me wrong, I am Somerset born and bred, but you don't have to conform to stereotype and everyone has the ability for cognitive development, you just have to choose to do so.

Marcus must have been a borderline retard. Given his penchant for dribbling and his inability to string a sentence together, it seems more than likely. Marcus also had a spacky right foot so he was allowed to wear trainers to school, and I shit-you-not, he had a different pair every week. Not shitty ones either, they were Nikes and Reeboks...this being the early 90's he had the brightest most inflatable trainers money could buy.

Being a shitty backwater school we didn't have PC's in our computer room, we had "Nimbus" computers, the Betamax of the home computer market. Now this is the point of the story, during a computer lesson Marcus PUKED all over a Nimbus keyboard, I wasn't there but according to reports, it went everywhere. Disgusting.

From that point onwards nobody wanted to touch a Nimbus keyboard in case it was the one that had been dickered in smelly spacker vomit. Girls would cry if you told them mid-lesson they were using the keyboard Marcus chucked-up on. Mates used to insult each other with, "You want to lick the keyboard Marcus puked on"...."No, you want to kiss his cabbage foot"...

In all fairness I don't think he was ever picked on or bullied, probably because that would have put you in puking range.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 11:39, Reply)