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This is a question Your Weirdest Teacher

The strangest teacher at my school used to practice his lessons at night. We'd watch through the classroom windows as he did his entire lesson, complete with questions to the class and telling off misbehaving students.

Were your teachers as strange? Of course they were...

(, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 13:43)
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My A level english & psychology teachers
My school had several. It was, frankly, awe inspiring. These two are the best.

My first mention is without a doubt the finest teacher I've ever had the privilege to be taught by. Had a massive passion for his subject, really loved what he taught. Complete eccentric, naturally.

Brian Lance Secondname (cruel parents, I guess) always asked to be called Lance rather than the traditional 'sir'. This guy was probably the result of nature's attempt to cross a man with a fox: Rail thin with mad eyes...Something definitely vulpine about him. He never liked classrooms as much so, being head of sixth form, we ended up squeezing into his office. Lessons would traditionally start with him leaping four or five people's legs with a cry of "And with a bound, he was free!" He retired the year after and still has more energy than your 18 year old narrator, and recently went bungee jumping.

He did so many strange things in his lessons, I wouldn't be able to list them, but some of the best include prit-sticking a pair of paper horns to his forehead to explain how the cuckold thing worked. There would also be lessons in which people would end up standing on his desk in manner of 50s housewife versus mice. He'd often make strange "Aaaah!" noises while teaching, too, and his cries of "Chaucer!" have become legend.

He once decided to take the upper sixth class to a workshop for The Tempest...Problem is, it turned out to be a drama workshop - Cue everyone feeling like a right bunch of twunts while they 'loosen up' (read as: Wierd arm movements with probably gay instructor).

He spent a quarter of the year teaching us the Canterbury Tales ("Chaucer!") - The problem with this being that we weren't supposed to do that until next year, he just felt like teaching it.

His weakness was without a doubt female students (this seems to be a recurring theme throughout this QOTW). I remember the one to face his letcherous wrath in our class was quite small and very shy...A call of "Ahhhh! (Name), I'll need a word after class!" were usually met with a nod from a pair of large, terrified eyes at the end of the table (as far away as they could get).

Next to be mentioned? Scudamore (don't care about name, you probably know him). This guy was about 6"4 and about a million years old, thin, sinister, with different sized eyes. Taught psychology (explains a few things). Lessons include him jumping on people while roaring and attacking a soft toy with a cricket bat ("This is what a nice person would do...I am NOT a nice person!") When I tried to quit his subject, he psychoanalysed me. It was horrible, but I continued his subject. Bah. Incredibly intelligent guy, but had major anger management problems...Was probably way past retirement age, but I don't think anyone was brave enough to point this out to him.

Incredibly sorry about length, but I have huge insecurities which I must cover when on the magical interweb.
(, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 14:40, Reply)

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