Mr Cook
He had a nervous breakdown every year, because his entire life seemed to depend to guiding classes through O Level History. Nothing else mattered to him, and this often resulted in full-scale fist-fights in the staff room.

Such was his obsession with teaching, he would not allow any other teacher near his class, even when signed off sick for weeks at a time. Instead, he would sent lessons into school on audio cassette, which we would listen to, terrified as his talks were often punctuated with "Stop looking out of the window, boy!" and on one memorable occasion, "Hackett - stop picking your nose", just as we all turned to see the poor boy, knuckle-deep in the bogey mine.

Come to think of it, all our teachers were mentallists. Mr Wallace (son of Barnes Wallace) would routinely walk into lessons ten minutes late announcing "Sorry, I've got a spunk bubble", which turned out to be teacher code for having a bunk-up in the stock cupboard with Mrs Wallace...
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 10 Nov 2005, 15:40, Reply)