Oh my god......
Maths teacher, Mr G (wont give the rest, coz I is a coward-o), the facts and the fiction…

Fact 1:

Huge great fat bastard with an even bigger beard and glasses. Had a liking for orange shirts and the worst 60’s style kipper ties with awful purple / green paisley patterns. Inspiration for the then 6th form’s 1st annual “crappy tie day”, and no matter how we hunted around the charity shops, we could still not beat the man.

Fact 2:

He claimed to have an infection on his middle finger, which forced him to continuously wear a white cotton glove, Imagine if you will, a kind of fat, sweaty, Tesco value, Michael Jackson impression. How he got the infection may be explained by fact 3…

Fact 3.

The man, as others in the QOTW, was obsessed with little boys having showers. Oh how we used to cower as little 1st years after PE trying to cover our little bald acorns bollox, only for him to come bounding in to the changing rooms shouting “RIIIIIIGGHT!!!!! GET IN THEM SHOWERS!!!!!” And then used to stand at the entrance, sending you back in if he felt that you had not washed well enough. I have actual visual confirmation of him ‘slapping’, i.e. ‘touching up’ some one in my class…..urrrrrrgggghhh *shudder* This would probably explain the middle finger problem, aren’t you supposed to wear protection when you “go in the back doors”??

Fact 4.

Sitting in a maths lesson one day, he utter the immortal lines “Darren !, ‘elp me! ” as he slid off his chair and passed out. He got left there…..the fat muppet….


Fact 5

We came to school one Monday, he was gone

Fiction 1 (but probably fact 6)

He got sacked for being a fucking pee-A-doh-file!!!!!!


*POP* Ahhh,, there goes my QOTW cherry, which only hurt slightly less then when Mr. G took the Bum cherry…….

Lengthy? Well, your eyes rolled back in your head when I inserted it………
(smirker neverletmetellyabouttheraggamuffinbiznessandting!, Tue 15 Nov 2005, 12:40, Reply)