Mr Fitzsimons - What a Prick
It's starting to disturb me how many teachers even in my own recollection were a bit off-tangent. Just remembered another one from my (second) primary school, Mr Fitzsimons. He was, to put it mildly, a very, very, fucking very bad-tempered man.

He'd shout at us at the slightest perceived provocation, one of his more memorable rebukes being something along the lines of '...blockhead. Why don't you go live in Germany where all the other blockheads are?'

The time I've just remembered though is when I left the classroom to have a slash and he beat me into hysterics for not knocking before I came back into the room. This was the third time I came back into the room after he sent me out the previous two times, telling me to come back in without explaining why. I think my visible frustration at being sent out the second time is what tripped him. Well, that and some little cunt named Amanda (we never got on on account of her being an effete little shit) spotting said frustration and bringing it to his attention on an 'awwww, sir, he just...' stylee. Always wanted to track the bitch down and pass on a couple of the blows I took from Mr F, seeing as she earned most of them for me by winding him up. True, I should have knocked, but I was fucking nine - etiquette is a low priority for most lads that age. All the fucker had to do was tell me.

My mum was in school moments after I got home that day, in her own words, 'to rip the child-beating bastard's arms off'. I was never party to the meeting that was hastily convened upon her arrival, but she told me that Mr F explained to her that he and his wife were having serious problems and his temper had gotten the better of him. She told him that in view of this, she'd postpone kicking the shit out of him (she had taught Shotokan as a black belt for years at this point) for such time as he was foolish enough to lose his temper again. Go mam :)

Rather than risk being tempted to try again, he retired at the end of that school year - during the year that I remained after him, he wasn't missed. By anybody.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 15 Nov 2005, 16:57, Reply)