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This is a question Why should you be fired from your job?

I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.

Why, then, should you be fired from your job?

(, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
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Because I am deceiving my employer
For 2 years now I have used viagra to maintain an erection during filming sessions.

Full colour climax productions have been deceived by me into thinking that i can maintain 12 inches of hard man meat for 2 hours straight before unleashing 8 ropes of hot fat over the face of my leading lady.

("Gracefully unleashing" if you follow the review of my last film "White Trash, Black Splash" in Which Grot Film).

But no, I am using chemicals to keep my ramrod hard.

I also use laxatives during the scat scenes - sure they aided my "fecal fountain" signature scene, and netted the company millions in sales from the rave reviews, but I am a fraud.

I have been putting bromide in the tea of other male actors in the business, to allow me to get roles they can't 'sustain', and when bromide fails, I show them nude photographs of Lisa Riley and Lizzy Bardsley from Wifeswap. If that doesnt work, I sneak up on them in the changing rooms and beat them repeatedly on the balls with a hammer.

Oh the shame.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 14:49, Reply)

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