BBQs on the roof
It was summer this year (one of the only warm days). During the day we had cleaned out an old paddilig pool, found a BBQ, got some people together. When the pub shut and everything had been cashed up we all headed up onto the flat roof. All was well until more people turned up and we ran out of seating. No problem. Mark and I jumped from the roof. And being a pub we had picnic benches in the beer garden. We upended this bench and pushed it up whereupon Stu grabbed hold and we scarped from under it in case he dropped it. Then we got a Stella umbrella to add to the effect of the whole night.
Time was getting on and we were getting hungry. So out comes the BBQ. Lit the touch paper thing at the top. It burnt out. So not to be deterred (and not to mention slightly worse for wear) I jumped into the kings (cleaning store) room from the roof in the hunt for flammable shit. I stumbled upon a bag of coal and a jerry can full of petrol for the lawn mower. Threw both up onto the roof, climbed up a drain pipe. Emptied bag of coal into BBQ doused in petrol. Mark comes up with a lighter and sparks it up.
Flame shoots up, gives mark a shock, lads laugh, his missus is terrified that hes hurt, as it happened he only singed his eyebrows which only made it more funny.
All goes well, we all eat all the stock we can half inch from the work kitchen. Some people go home but there is Stu, Ash and I left with half a jerry can of petrol.
Lads being lads started putting pint glasses onto the BBQ ad FLMAE grilling steaks and burgers.
After that got tiresome Stu tried to set his hand alight unsuccessfully. So up walks me grabs petrol can douses my hand in it, I hand the petrol can to Ash, give Stu the go ahead to light it. However Ash who was filming all of this took the can off me and just put it straight down. Cue my hand dripping in flames igniting the jerry can still half full of petrol. Me thinking fast with a flaming hand which was just beginning to smart a little grabbed this jerry can, ran about 40 meters with it and heaved it into the pool. All to the amusement of the other lads. The pool didn't put it out, because Oil floats on water. So the pool sides melt spewing flaming water, petrol and flames all over the roof of the building. Setting fire to Stu's net curtain (we had no door to the roof, only windows which were open) And then setting the fire alarm off. I'm laughing so much its starting to hurt. There is Stu and Ash trying to put the fire out. When the Assistant Manager comes out and asks about his Jerry can, whilst the pub is still alight.
We eventually got the flames (how I don't know, fucking miracle) out and all was well and I fucked off home sharpish. Surprised the place didn't burn down.

Should have got FIRED (sorry) for that one.

Length? His eyebrows have grown a lot since then!
(Range, Sat 11 Aug 2007, 18:11, Reply)