Why should you be fired from your job?
I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.
Why, then, should you be fired from your job?
( , Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.
Why, then, should you be fired from your job?
( , Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
« Go Back
Not this job, honest.
On reflection I'm amazed that I never got fired from my first "proper" job. In my four years there I:
Set fire to the office microwave.
Ripped the door off the photocopier in a fit of temper.
Punched a bloody great dent in a filing cabinet. (Temper again)
Treated the rest room as my personal fiefdom. (Not only did I hijack the tape player to play Thrash metal most lunchtimes but I also stored my back issues of Kerrang there. When I moved home I stuck my LP collection and books in there too.)
Wandered in at weekends to use the microwave. (Which wasn't so bad except I set the burglar alarm off at least once. I used to hang around for four or five hours after work too.)
Nicked and read the bosse's paper on a daily basis.
Caned the flexiclock and sick-leave systems until they squealed.
Took ever increasing amounts of time to run errands. (They didn't mind a twenty minute trip taking thirty minutes. When it got to taking an hour things were said.)
Elbowed my boss in the face. (Accidental, but knowing how much I hated her nobody believed me.)
Eventually I lost interest to the point that I was frequently found skiving in the rest room. I think I got transferred just before I got fired. Or punched.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2007, 15:07, Reply)
On reflection I'm amazed that I never got fired from my first "proper" job. In my four years there I:
Set fire to the office microwave.
Ripped the door off the photocopier in a fit of temper.
Punched a bloody great dent in a filing cabinet. (Temper again)
Treated the rest room as my personal fiefdom. (Not only did I hijack the tape player to play Thrash metal most lunchtimes but I also stored my back issues of Kerrang there. When I moved home I stuck my LP collection and books in there too.)
Wandered in at weekends to use the microwave. (Which wasn't so bad except I set the burglar alarm off at least once. I used to hang around for four or five hours after work too.)
Nicked and read the bosse's paper on a daily basis.
Caned the flexiclock and sick-leave systems until they squealed.
Took ever increasing amounts of time to run errands. (They didn't mind a twenty minute trip taking thirty minutes. When it got to taking an hour things were said.)
Elbowed my boss in the face. (Accidental, but knowing how much I hated her nobody believed me.)
Eventually I lost interest to the point that I was frequently found skiving in the rest room. I think I got transferred just before I got fired. Or punched.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2007, 15:07, Reply)
« Go Back