for gross lack of sympathy with my nutbar clients
the other day a guy comes in to see me. he would have brought his wife, but she has agoraphobia. which instantly makes me think "get over it love" because i'm nice like that.

so he's complaining because his poor innocent neighbour wants to build an extension and one window might just overlook his land. which would mean his wife could never leave the house.

thinking the best thing for his wife involves a shovel and a deep hole, i cut through his invective and say carefully:

"what kind of an individual are we dealing with here, mr x?"

"a horrid little man," mr x splutters indignantly, stuffing the firm's luxury chocolate biscuits into his gob. "let me tell you that it nearly killed my poor wife seeding our lawn in her condition. and what did he do? i'll tell you what he did."

i wish you fucking would, i nearly said, but bit my pen instead and took a gulp of water.

"he threw bread crumbs all over it to make the pigeons come and eat it!" mr x squeaked.

i promptly choked, did the elephant trick, spat water elegantly all over him and myself because i found it so funny.

i had a client this morning who was less funny and more disturbing. he was an indian guy, and on the way out, he clasped my hands and exhorted me fervently never ever to "trust a paki or a brown lawyer".

ffs. what do you say to that?! racist old tool.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Aug 2007, 17:31, Reply)