Every once in a while, the only answer is to wing it in my job,
I run a pub, and every now and again, shit goes fucking proper bat shit wrong. The kitchen loses a food ticket, a plate is dropped, the gas runs out mid pint, it's so busy you forget a round of drinks for a table and many other daft problems. Generally, you speak to the customer, they are a reasonable human being, you get them a pint, sorted. And then you get a wanker. You can almost always see them coming. Maybe it's the way they walk, or talk, or look. But every now and again you spot one, and it's his shit that gets fucked up, and you know that the truth is just going to end in him shouting about ineptitude or getting angry about his dinner, or demanding a full refund blah blah blah. So you wing it. You make up some bullshit, maybe the chef has lost a finger, maybe the gas in the kitchen has gone, or whatever. Lies. Because he's not a reasonable human, and it's quicker to wing it than try and tell the truth.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 1:22, 5 replies)

WeePee
I honestly don’t think that I could believe a word you say from now on, I bet you’re not even ginger
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 8:26, closed)

I am ginger.
And a very good liar.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 11:14, closed)

I'll have chef's finger pie and chips please.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 9:54, closed)

Make mine rare cause the gas has gone out.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 4 Apr 2013, 10:07, closed)

chef fingers pies

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 10:07, closed)