Vrrooooooooooooooommm
Back in 1995 when I was a poor poor student, eeking out food supplies to last the month, I would on a weekly basis spaff about £3 on Autosport magazine.
£3 that could have been spent on lavish treats like bread or, on a good week, cheese!

Autosport ran a fantasy F1 team type competition, the usual things you'd expect - keep to a budget, choose a car/engine/driver combo, and reap the rewards after each race. At the end of the season, the winning punter was to be spirited away to the Australian Grand Prix.
My passport was never in any danger of being needed.

In short, I was spectacularly rubbish, having chosen my team whilst off my tits on whisky.
I'll be honest, after the first 4 races of the season my spirits had been dampened and I even stopped buying my favourite racing-based mag.


It was quite a surprise then to receive a phone call from said magazine which I answered whilst balls-deep into the then girlfriend. My yelps of joy mere seconds later weren't related to my physical situation but were down to the wonderful news that I'd only gone and bloody won the 14th round of the season at the Nurburgring!

Praise be to Eddie Jordan as his cars came good that day and netted me a fucking massive Scalextric set (the cause of the whooping joy), a suitcase full of Savanne clothing (they sponsored the boy Coulthard at the time), a magnum of Moet, a subscription to Autosport (meaning I was cheese happy for a year) and best of all, the headline in the magazine the next week saying that I had "Stormed The 'Ring". Remarkable forsight from the headline writers at Autosport considering what I was up to when I got the phone call.

They called back a week later to say that David Coulthard was doing an appearance at Jenners (a bit like John Lewis but just the one shop) in Edinburgh and Savanne would like me to go down and collect my prize in person. It wasn't the most eventful day really, only two things stand out.

1 - DC is a good bloke all told, quite jolly and when looking at the reprobates lined up to see him muttered "Jesus wept"
2 - A suitcase of Savanne togs is fucking heavy and a pain in the arse to lug about on a busy train with no luggage racks left.


I still have a copy of the magazine kicking about somewhere, mostly for the comedy headline I won't lie.


(Ninja spelling edit (x3), also it was £1.95 a week, not £3 odd)
(Added pictorial evidence in the replies)
( SpackyWomble, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 22:23, 6 replies)

i would give my left tit
to do the nurburgring in a bugatti veyron


and my right tit to be able to drive.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 22:47, closed)

I'd hand over both nuts to drive the Nordschleife in a Lotus 49. It'd be the last thing I did before going up in a fiery Colin Chapman themed blaze.

In fact on my death certificate I want either that or 'headshot' as the cause.
( SpackyWomble, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 22:56, closed)

Are you 15 years old then?
( user_names_suck, Mon 2 May 2011, 2:18, closed)

i wish

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 2 May 2011, 13:35, closed)

i11.photobucket.com/albums/a153/GiantSpaceApe/autosport01.jpg"






( SpackyWomble, Sat 30 Apr 2011, 0:23, closed)

Did a toddler get hold of it?
All those terrible scribbles all over the first word... No-one will ever know what it was...

*starts Googling back issues of Autosport*

NB contents of above message may not contain any truth whatsoever.
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Sat 30 Apr 2011, 19:11, closed)