Nonchalant
While / after out drinking in the city centre, I’m proud to say that I played part in averting a potentially serious assault. Waiting in the taxi queue, I was contentedly swaying back and forth on the sea of Stella in my Sambuca boat, watching the inebriated antics of swarms of revellers.

In a heartbeat, I was awakened from my daze by a slurred screech. Something along the lines of “Aaaammgaannnaaafuuuuggginnnkkiilllllllllyyyyeeeeeeaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh”. I turned in time to see some oaf running parallel with the queue of folk of which I was part, wielding aloft a hazard warning temporary road sign. (You know the type, triangular sign in a heavy steel frame, usually employed at road-works etc.)

I can only assume that my scant used ‘vigilante synapse’ was unaffected by the considerable volume of alcohol consumed, as it sprung into action with frankly astonishing pace. I crouched down on the pretence of tying my shoelace, and deftly stuck a leg out, into the path of the violence-intentioned moron.

To say that the result was satisfying would be a heavy understatement. The would-be attacker sailed through the air for a rather impressive distance before landing face first atop his makeshift weapon and sliding to a stop on the road amid the jeers and rowdy chorus of cackling laughter from the throng of party goers.

In the few intervening moments until I departed in my extortion carriage. I chuckled at the sight of my deserving prey sitting against a nearby wall, repeatedly spraying “mmmphuggun llbbashhchab!” at an unknown vigilante through a mash of blood and broken teeth.


I only hope that his attack wasn’t justified by some previous event unbeknown to myself, in which case, I would actually be a right proper cnut!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 10:15, Reply)