Don't steal stuff from my dad!
Years ago when my dad used to work as an engineer dealing with pin brazing, (something to do with trains and tracks and welding i think, i was only little) he used to have loads of equipment in our garage for carrying out said works. Naturally, because it was quite a specialist area, the stuff was quite expensive, and also heavy.
We wake up one saturday morning, and find that the garage has been robbed, along with our neighbour, who happens to be a carpenter and so also had stuff nicked from his garage on the same night. Bummer, thinks us, lots of expensive stuff gone, thats gonna cost us a fortune.
However, as mentioned before, the pin brazing stuff is quite heavy, and my dad, in a moment of einstein-like lucidity of thought, decides that they can't have got far (although looking back, they could have more than resonably had a car). And, lo and behold, after less than a ten minute search, he discovers where the thieves have stashed all his stuff (where we lived backed on to some shrubby wasteland that had yet to be developed, so it's not a load of toss).
Now, my dad, being the kind of chap who doesnt like people moving a screwdriver out of its box without telling him, isn't exactly chirpy about little shits trying to steal his stuff. So he collaborates with our neighbour, Dave, to ambush them when they return to collect it the next day. So, Dave and my dad are camped out at night waiting for them to turn up, and, as predicted, two of them do. They jump from the bushes, scare the shit out of these two spotty pikeys, and proceed to give them a bit of a beating. Then the police are called, and all is well.

Oh and before the police got there, they got them to carry all the stuff back to the respective garages. My dad said "why have a dog and bark?". Made me well proud when I was 5 :D
(Dovvit bee, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 13:17, Reply)