Not a witness, but a psuedo-victim
About 15 years or so ago, I was at a little party with some friends. I was in high school at the time, so along with most of the other attendees I was underage, but we* weren't letting that get in the way. For some random reason which I can't remember, we decided to go for a walk. All of us. At midnight. And so a pack of 20 or so giggling, wobbling teenagers began to saunter along the road. I was near the front of the group, being one of the few locals who knew the area, which meant I got to see the whole thing coming.

We had just walked past the entrance to a park. There were no lights in the park at that time of night, so it was just a huge patch of darkness. From the shadowy depths, however, erupted the world's most pathetic battle cry. Imagine the power of a lion's roar. Imagine the fear it strikes into those around to hear it. Now imagine a gerbil trying to do the same. I turned to watch a group of kids half our size charge at the back of our group, waving the normal sort of improvised weaponry - bottles, sticks, bricks etc. Our group scattered, knowing that a crack from a large lump of wood would still be painful even in the diminutive hands of our attackers.

Pretty soon people were running everywhere when I finally noticed one of the little runty children charging at me, bottle raised above his head. Time seemed to slow. I couldn't move, I just watched him get closer, closer, closer ... until he swung the bottle. It traced a perfect arc through the air and gracefully connected with my head. I winced instinctively, preparing for the pain, but instead of the shattering of glass I heard an odd crumpling noise. I opened my eyes to see a very confused looking proto-yob still holding a seemingly intact bottle. We looked at each other for a brief moment before he turned and fled, discarding his weapon. It bounced on the ground, making a strange, hollow noise not normally associated with glass.

He had just tried to smash a plastic bottle over my head.

After my brain caught up with current events I discovered that I was now alone in the aftermath of the world's most pathetic street battle. I shrugged and walked home without incident. At school the next Monday I discovered that no-one was actually hurt, at least no-one in our group. It was one of the oddest experiences I've had.

* - Okay, I was letting it get in the way. I didn't drink then, and still don't now. But I find drunk people funny, so I don't mind.
(Ponder, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 20:01, Reply)