I used to watch my brother nick money out of the charity bottle in my dads pub when he was 10...
He used a coathanger to snuffle out £1 notes.
He'd then launder the money by putting the aforementioned £1 note into the till, and take out ten 10p pieces...

Now a quid isn't a lot of money. So here's the clever part...

He'd put the 10p pieces into the fruit machine, and seeing as he usually committed this crime after monitoring the fruit machine carefully, he'd often walk away with a lot more swag than a mere £1.

The problem in the whole sweet operation was the pub till. It was like Arkwrights fucking till. It was a true bastard of immense proportions and was very, very noisey upon the opening of the cash drawer..

...But it was so easy...

*DING!!!* goes the till, as yet another crime is committed...

*In Comes My Father!*
I'm fucked. Caught red fucking handed first time! And the shit really REALLY hit the fan.

And as I was being talked to by both parents (youknow it's serious if they're both in the same room together) and mildy threatened with having the police called, (i'm 7 btw) crying, my brother danced past the doorway behind my parents grinning like a cheshire cat.

I never told and my brother was never caught.

He's in prison now.

not really.
(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Mon 18 Feb 2008, 20:24, Reply)