Plod
Slightly off topic but involves the police and a near crime.
To set the Scene it's new year 2007. There is a big gang of us out in my local and 2 of the reprobates out are L and M (a recently trained po-lice officer). As nights go we were having a good laugh and drinking a fair few beers and who should be in the bar but L's ex missus, who he's not quite over yet, so L proceeds to get a bit drunk but not really causing trouble.

As the night goes on he goes to say happy new year to the ex and stumbles against a table, 1 lad starts giving him aggro and L apologises, followed up with more aggro from laddo.
Laddo in question then says to L 'do you know who I am?'
L then replies with the immortal phrase 'I couldn't give a fuck if you were Mike Tyson, I'd still knock you out'
L is like a streak of piss in terms of build

Laddo's large mate then gets up so now it's 2 on one...

While all this is happening I'm chatting away to a mates sis so have no idea what's going on but when i walk back L's great mate M (just trained copper) has L pinned against the wall with dumb and dumber standing behind him about to give the pair of them a kicking!

I wander over and start talking to dumb and dumber, get an idea of whats happened while Hott Fuzz still has L pinned to the wall and then decide to say scrapper 1 and 2:
'hey lads it's new year so lets have a good time, besides if you start on them then I'm going to have to get involved and that means I'll get hit and I hate getting hit'

For some reason this seemed to work, both lads chilled shook L's hand (after M had released him) and off they fucked.

I'd like to think I stopped a fight with my wit and charm but don't think that is the case...

So it was a sort of crime (public aggravation I suppose) and it did involve the (off duty) police.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:36, Reply)