If it weren't for teh internets...
...I would probably be slowly swinging from side to side, my tie the only thing connecting me to the bathroom ceiling.

I have mastered the alt-tab and ctrl-tab magic of windows so nobody is fast enough to see the combination of b3ta, facebook, bbc and sickipedia that my day comprises of.

It's not so much that fact that during each 8 hour day, I have roughly 2 or 3 hours of work maximum. Its more the people I work with.
My colleagues are the oddest bunch of people I have ever met.

Lets start with J. Evil, conniving and ever so simple, she uses every opportunity to shout (she always shouts) and belittle me, or anybody else for that matter. I work in a very busy office, so try to answer the phone quickly as to not irritate certain workmates. Once J decided this was not acceptable and exclaimed "Will you stop answering the phone so Bloody fast?!" Upon enquiring as to why she felt like this she responded
".......because it's Bloody annoying thats why!" and stormed outside for a cigarette.
She makes snide comments about my attire (smart trousers, shirt and tie), whereas she finds it perfectly acceptable to wear tracksuit bottoms to work.
She ordered an extension cable for her printer, as she didnt realise that you can physically move printers once they have been placed on a desk. I walk into her office to the sight of J sitting on the floor utterly confused, trying to connect the two female connections together with the two male connections on the floor in front of her.
She has on numerous occasions tried to convince the rest of the office to change the lottery syndicate numbers because "We haven't won yet". I tried the classic argument "Why don't you just pick 1 to 7? You'll have the same chance of winning." which she refused to believe.

Then we have D. D is the most lewd, sexist filthmonger I have come across in my, albeit meagre, 22 years. Some classic quotes of his include:
"It's been so long since J has had any cock, shes probably got a dead hedgehog in her pussy."
"Go in there and bend her over, colonel69, her fanny will be so wet you won't need a gentlemans wash first"
"She's only got a dog so it'll lick her out, because no human would, the scruffy bitch."



Sorry for length/slight off topic-ness, but I have no human companions to vent my rage to. Just a sticky keyboard.
(TheColonel, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 22:46, Reply)