With my ravishing good looks and glittering personality…

It was a matter of time before I got a job as an airline attendant.

This happened briefly in the nineties.

On long haul flights I would busy myself by being a surly, obnoxious cunt to the mindless drones in business class, who were packed in like plebite battery hens waiting for the DVT to kick in.

Here's an example. It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

"Would you like dinner?" I asked the pompous-looking cum-cake taking up two seats on the front row.

"What are my choices?" the man asked.

"Yes or no, you thick twat" I replied.

Good times.

I’ll soon be starting work as a translator for Barack Obama…I can’t imagine how I’ll get to have any fun doing that job ;)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 13:13, 6 replies)

Were you responsible for In-flight "Bernard"?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Jan 2009, 13:15, closed)

I tried it once...

and spent the rest of the flight fighting off the glamorous air hostesses...

...and the pilot...

...and the passengers :(


allegedley
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 13:18, closed)

*Click!*
Thats great! I've always considered random acts of violence should be legal if your dealing with the business class drones. It would be doing them a favor to give them a quick slap.
( SpankyHanky, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 13:20, closed)

airline attendant you say
chutney ferret is it?

what?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 16:28, closed)

That's right...

And I've been eyeing up your profile, ducky...

*minces*

*adopts bawdy, 'carry on' style overtly homophobic stance*

/is NOT homophobic

*apologises*

*winks at Spimf*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:14, closed)

hey! sky blue crimpoline - would turn the best of us mate
i speak the truth
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 10:31, closed)