Want a lolly?
When I was in Year 8, I broke my ankle and was off school for several weeks owing to the impracticality of my school being five miles away and on several floors. During this time I got so bored that I volunteered to go to work with my mum, who is a primary school teacher, and listen to thick kids read. Generally it was a good laugh - the teachers all made a massive fuss of me, and the eldest kids were only two years younger so they were fun to hang around with.

There was one child in particular who sticks in my memory though. Thomas. He was in Year 4, had a particular reputation as a bit of a troublemaker and, having heard him read, I can testify to his lack of intellectual prowess. Sweet kid though.

One day after school, I was sitting in the foyer minding my own business when Thomas sidled up to me. He wiped his nose on his hand. Then he put same hand into his pocket and pulled out some old tissues, which he placed on the table next to me. Out came some miniature action figures, more snotty tissues, pencil shavings, some sort of long-dead insect, and a few half-eaten, stuck-together lollipops. Thomas then proceeded to prise one of these lollipops from the sticky bundle and hold it out to me. "Want a lolly?"

No thanks, Thomas.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:14, Reply)