More temping laziness
Another job I had, actually with the same friend, was as cameramen for a "whole mind and body expo," which was really just one big snake oil convention. People claiming to take pictures of your aura and selling wheatgrass cure-all vegan protein shakes. Our job was to film the lectures, then give the DVDs to a guy at the booth that was selling them. I have never seen such bullshit in my life as these lectures. One guy was teaching people how to use these brass rings called the Rings of Odin, which he claimed would cure any illness by waving them over the affected area. He said he made the rings by shooting them with a beam from a machine which he invented in a dream. The saddest part was people were actually buying these things. Another lecture I had to film was "Transcending the Spirit Plane Through Love," In which an obviously Italian guy with a New Jersey accent dressed up in an indian costume (feather indian, not dot indian) and told everyone to close their eyes. He went around kissing everyone and then said: "open your eyes everyone, we just transcended the spirit plane through love." After the first few lectures I realized that not only was it incredibly boring but there was no way I was going to be able to keep myself from laughing, so I started just putting the camera on a tripod and leaving the room and coming back when the lecture was supposed to end. One time I did that I came back to an empty room. The camera was still recording and I have no idea how long it had been since everybody had left. Another time the speaker walked out of the frame and stayed there for the entire lecture. I'd feel sorry for the people who bought these DVDs, but it serves them right for going to a snake oil convention. I have to say, I did have a little fun while I was there. The best times were eating a Wendy's double bacon cheeseburger in the middle of a lecture on healthy vegan living. There was also a lecture by a "real life ghostbuster" who claimed to have a crack ghost fighting team consisting of 11 archangels that only he could see. It was my job to hand out nametags for that lecture, so I started giving people tags pre labeled with "Egon Spangler," "Gozer the Gozerian," "Rick Moranis," and things like that, and refusing to give people another blank tag. God I hated those poeple.

Length? 2 days, 10 hours a day
Girth? have you ever seen a 350 pound vegan? How do they get that way?
(raulduke, Fri 11 May 2007, 16:32, Reply)