Work ExperienceWe've got a work experience kid in for a couple of weeks and he'll do anything you tell him to... He's was in the server room most of yesterday monitoring the network activity lights - he almost missed his lunch till we took pity on him.
We are bastards.
How bad was your first experience of work?
(
chthonic, Thu 10 May 2007, 9:45)
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I still can’t bear the smell of Edam…Aside from my paper round (Which was just a thinly veiled excuse for masturbating furiously over freshly stolen Jazz-Magazines in the local nature reserve), my first exposure to 'work' in the conventional sense was in a hellhole they call..... 'Shoe Express'
My god.
Feet.
"Can you measure me young man"
You look up to see a middle age frump proffering her baggy stocking-ed hairy leg with a pungent calloused foot displaying thick yellowing toenails..
"Why yes, I'd love to madam" - I would puke politely
“EXCUSE ME, I bought these the other day and they’re already coming apart…”
Lies the swarthy Pikey woman brandishing a pair of shit-caked clodhoppers, clearly at least a year old and purchased from a different shop - "I forgot my receipt though…"
"No problem, choose another pair" - I would vomit professionally
The fucking smell of that place…
The real killer however, was being forced to dress as a giant bunny rabbit for some wretched promotion, and hand out balloons and sweeties in the local shopping centre clutching a little wicker basket.
As a 15 year old schoolboy with a pube complex, standing smoking a cigarette trying to look cool as every single pupil from my school decided to pass by that day and laugh hysterically was tricky to say the least.
I quit one day after a hellishly intense psychedelic evening where I actually became a mushroom king of some note, I had an epiphany on the stepladder, tucked in a couple of laces out of habit and ran away.
I got a better job sorting rotten fruit in a factory instead.
3 inches.
Cubed.
(, Fri 11 May 2007, 20:13, Reply)
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