First day at Handley Page
My Dad spent three years in the RAF as a conscript and was demobbed as a qualified radio operator. This led to a career in various companies designing and engineering equipment for the aircraft industry (given the total ineptitude of his DIY skills, one wonders why so few English Electric Lightning interceptors fell out of the sky), before being hired by Handley Page Aircraft Ltd.

Handley Page operated out of a ramshackle building in Radlett, Herts (so named "Fred's Shed" in honour of the company's founder, Sir Frederick Handley Page). Despite the heath robinson nature of the building, HP were tasked with manufacturing state of the art Victor nuclear bombers for the RAF. These massive planes were slightly larger than the Airbus you last flew to Barcelona in, flew twice as high and could exceed the speed of sound. In stark contrast to their clapboard factory, they looked like something out of a 1950s Dan Dare comic, with sleek and swoopy lines and four fuck off jet engines.

Anyway, on his first day Dad asks where he'll find the bathroom.

"Down the stairs, turn right and follow the corridor to the end" is the reply.

With no reason to suspect sabotage, off he goes to the gents which is in keeping with the ramshackle appearence of the rest of the office. He sits down on the seat and closes the cubicle door, noting that there seemed to be a lack of paper.


"Ker-boom! ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

"W-what t-the f-fu???"

An apocalyptic noise shatters the peace and quiet and starts to violently shake the whole toilet block. Plaster is seen falling from the ceiling as the deafening noise reverberates around the place, which totally ruined Dad's moment of quiet contemplation sat reading the "Daily Racism" on the throne. He said later that the vibration from four Rolls Royce Conway jet engines being unexpectedly started up and given some welly shook fillings loose.

Turned out that some japester had sent him to the disused toilets which were located just behind the testing area. The test crew of a newly built Victor bomber were waiting for a signal from the drawing office to spool up all four engines which amusingly coincided with Dad's visit to the lav.

It was a traditional jape to send the new guy off to be scared witless, but amends were made much later when Dad was taken on a few low level trips round Hertfordshire in the jumpseat of a giant nuclear bomber.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 14 May 2007, 12:13, Reply)