Bout 10 years ago, Newcastle to London, National Express, the overnight one
this left Newcasle about 11.30 near as dammit, never a great journey but fine if you could get a bit kip on it. The passengers were me and the usual mix of odd/quirky but essentially harmless folk and about 8 thoroughly tanked-up young Geordie twats. On the bus we go and they start singing an amusing little ditty which relates their preference of comeradeship, sociability and a "party" lifestyle as opposed to more lusty pleasures, a fine traditional English folk song if ever there was one. The lyrics were something along the lines of

"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

Concise, witty I'm sure you'll agree. So, on through the night we trundle..........

11.39 ish
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

11.39 and a bit more ish
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

11.40 or there abouts
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

and so on. We picked up at Chester le street, roughly 25 minutes later
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

then Durham about 20 minutes after that
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

and pulled into Darlington at approximately 1.15 or so
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

1.15 or so, and ooh... probably a couple of seconds later
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

By Doncaster at about 3
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz wud rather raise wa glasses
coz wa stupid fuckin' bastaaaaaaahhhhhhddds"

this time they weren't all singing, I'm assuming some of the wankers had the decency to pass out. It must have been about 4 o clock before all of the stupid cocksuckers eventually shut the fuck up. Maybe I should have said something at the time, and even the conditions on the ticket said something about alcohol being allowed but we wil not tolerate drunken behavior or somesuch, but I can't believe the driver only thought was that we were all having a sing song. After that I discovered that if you book in advance trains cost less than buses, have more room, are more comfy and get you to London in 3 hours.

(Sings softly under breath....
"Wuz divvunt shag wa lasses
coz ..........")

Utter Utter Utter Utter Cunts

EDIT: Did Neil Hannon write a verse saying
"On the National Express
There some pissed up dickheads
Talking wank and shiiiiiiiiiiiiiite"

Or is that just in my head?
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 7 Sep 2006, 22:05, Reply)