Thai Coach Adventure
On holiday in Thailand, me and girlfriend decide to take the "VIP coach service" offered by the nice people at Bangkok station to the South to catch a boat. They seemed so very nice and respectable at the time.

Stage 1: Wait to be picked up by coach with fellow smelly backpackers, keep waiting ... wait a bit more. Coach arrives and drops us off at mystery location still in Bangkok, (suspicions are aroused at this point), another wait, and drop off later we are on the actual "VIP Coach" mentioned above. It is now midnight.

Stage 2: Coach departs. Begin to notice discrepency between descriptions of "VIP Coach" and actual coach. The air conditioning from hell, if hell were in antarctica, in space, with liquid nitrogen in your pants.

Stage 3: The journey begins in earnest. Fellow backpacker sitting behind seems to be having difficulty sleeping - this is expressed by placing legs over the top of our seats (one leg is covered with a bloody rag), he is a sleep-moaner. Thai clone of terminator movie comes on the "VIP Coach Entertainment System", there is no sound, movie contains sub Jean Claude Van Damme style acting, parts are clearly cut directly from Terminator.

Stage 4: Nearing completion. Coach stops unexpectedly in the middle of Thai motorway at another mystery location, dark figures run across the motorway and seem to disappear into luggage compartment, the coach drives on. Exploring the situation while on journey to the bathroom (oh god no), the author discovers Thai tramps sleeping on luggage, thwarting the authors attempt to obtain thermal protection from air-conditioning as frost bite is setting in.

Stage 5: There is no stage 5. We arrive at boat, and escape "VIP Coach" of Doom forever.
(Mr_Rigby, Fri 8 Sep 2006, 16:21, Reply)