The Worst Journey in the WorldAspley Cherry Garrard was the youngest member of the Scott Polar Expedition when he and two others lost their tent to the winds of a night-time snowstorm. They spent hours in temperatures below -70°F stumbling about the ice floes hoping they'd bump into it as it was their only hope of survival.
OK, so that was bad, but we reckon you've had worse. We know how hard you lot are.
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chthonic, Thu 7 Sep 2006, 12:40)
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Scrambled eggs, scrambled gutsThe night before work, I got the midnight munchies and decided to make myself some scrambled eggs. Right, so far so hoopy. However, and there is always a however, there were some unexpected side-effects of these scrambled eggs.
These made themselves felt the next day at work, which was right on the other side of the city, I might add. I was mid-call with a customer when I felt a pressure building. I thought it was just a rather large fart. It was, with added seepage. Oh dear.
I leap quick-sharpish to the loo, which is then promptly pebble-dashed to oblivion. Oh yes, it was an anal armageddon. We are talking liquid shit of the highest order, mixed in with a large amount of gas. Imagine a volcanic mud pool, for something like both the smell and how my ringpiece felt at this time.
I clean everything up as best as I can, and get myself sent home from work. Which was a two hour journey. On the way back, I pebble-dashed three more loos into similar states of oblivion.
When asked by curious children on the bus as to why my face was a curious shade of puce, I brought up a picture of tubgirl on my phone and told them I was trying to stop that from happening. They soon went away.
I eventually got home with a ring piece that felt more like a curry hose, to spend the rest of the day chained to the loo. Ladies and gentlemen, I do not recommend making scrambled eggs with eggs that are two weeks out of date. It'll all end in tears.
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jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 9 Sep 2006, 22:25,
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