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This is a question Worst Person for the Job

In a week where it emerges that the new Health Secretary is a fan of the hocus-pocus that is homeopathy, tell us about people who are spectacularly out of their depth in a job. Have you ever found yourself wallowing in your own incompetence? Tell us. (Note: "Name of football manager/politician - nuff said" does not constitute an answer)

(, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 12:48)
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My gearing purred. I hadn't been this wound up in a long time, but something about him drove me wild. My circuits frothed.
The crash had woken me up. I'm normally plugged into the mains at this time like all the other droids, powered down and cycling the day's data, but for some reason I'd left my sensors on. I detected the impact with my internal gyros, and new it was something big.

But now, stood in the back yard with the night air steaming around my excited motors, I never anticipated how big. He was huge, in more ways than one. His lithe frame towered over me, limbs trembling with raw power despite their slenderness. And he was black, pure black, just the way I like them. I'd never seen another robot like him, and I knew he was not from this sector.

He stood in the doorway of the shed, framed in a pulsing orange glow. The same glow that burned through the smoke rising from the hole in the shed roof, that he'd obviously fallen through. He stood stock still.

And then it hit me. A hailing frequency that didn't just request but demanded I respond. Its force hit my receptors brutally, and the discharge spread through my internal wiring with a delicious overpowering shiver. My motors spasmed, stepper motors whining, and my coms port popped open immediately. I was powerless to resist his calling, and I stepped forward on shaky limbs.

He receded into the smoke as I walked towards the doorway of the shed, until his silhouette was shrouded in the writhing mist. I stood still, waiting.

His com-port cable surged forward. Thick, black, metres long, it thrust through the smoke straight for my now open comport, and connected with such force that my legs went weak. And he discharged, oh how he discharged into me. I put out my arms and gripped the doorframe of the shed to keep me steady, feeling the rough splinters under my sensor pads as his powerful flow overwhelmed me. I burbled. I gasped. My body shook under the dominant force of his possession.

I woke in my recharge cell. Surely, this was all a dream. A glitch of my data reprocessing, a spike in the power distribution. I performed a body scan for errors, checking all sensors.

"Error detected; left articulator", chimed the scan. I looked down at my hand. There, wedged between the knuckles of my index finger, was a rough wooden splinter.

I heard you guys like alien robot shed porn
(, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 19:41, closed)

(, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 19:48, closed)
This glaring typo has made it absurdly difficult to masturbate to this.
Difficult, but not impossible.
(, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:18, closed)
He's also confused "into" and "in to" ... I've never been so flaccid.

(, Sat 8 Sep 2012, 20:25, closed)
of course there's mistakes
Like fuck am I going to read that shit twice to correct things.
(, Sun 9 Sep 2012, 4:13, closed)
It takes a special kind of sad internet shut in
To error check alien robot shed porn
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:41, closed)

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