When I had to fake it...
A mate had dumped his girlfriend and I, ever the gentleman, decided I would be the shoulder to cry on and see if I could get a shag out of it. I did. Only problem was, she had quite a protruding pubic bone and it pushed so hard into my groin that it was painful. Added to that, she was wetter than a very wet thing, so I was unable to get any friction. In the end, I had to fake it so that I didn't end up with a blister in my groin. Fortunately, she was so drenched, me actually making a deposit would have made no difference, so my faking was unnoticed. On a plus point, she was so impressed by my staying power, she told all my mates how brilliant I was, so it wasn't all bad.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 15 Jun 2007, 11:19, Reply)