Finger-nails...
Once upon a time, long long ago, I partook in a rough, passionate bout of finger-loving on my then-girlfriend.

It was dark.

She complained of a stinging sensation afterwards and we both thought nothing of it.

Upon getting home I had a text message saying "Trim your fingernails!" and found out in the subsequent phonecall that I can scratched the internals! I went to sleep...

I was awoken by my mother banging on my bedroom door (yes I still live at home! I'm not paying student house fees!), shouting "Are you alright?!". I rubbed my eyes and opened the door whereupon I was told how as she was going shopping, she saw a big bloody hand mark above the driver's door of my car and wanted to check I hadn't been in a fight! I looked out of the window and it looked like a kid had been hand-painting on my roof!

I blamed it on a papercut...
(r2b2 has ear cataracts?!?, Sat 16 Jun 2007, 21:39, Reply)