Not a shag (I'm married) but...
Staying with a posh friend, we were given their 11 year-old son's bed to sleep in. Since the missus had the painters in, she offered to give Little Frank a tug.

But what about the geyser of jis? We didn't want to soil the pillow of a 11 year-old, and she wasn't in the mood for swallowing, so we wrapped my schlong in a 'cap' of toilet paper to make it all clean and tidy.

Cue a few minutes of expert tugging and I shot my wad into the tissue hat. Only, when I looked down, it was to see the tissue soaked with blood. Turns out the toilet paper was that rough vegan kind you can grate cheese with and it had grated off the skin of my helmet. No more tugging for a week after that
(frankspencer, Wed 20 Jun 2007, 16:45, Reply)