Parrott - A brief history:
1. "[He/she/it/they] [is/are] shit"
2. "I've got a girlfriend, me!"
3. "I think you'll find that's wrong."
4. "YOU'RE ALL BULLYING ME (ESPECIALLY WICCA'D WITCH), THAT'S COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! PARROTT SMASH!"
5. "I'm going now, for good. This is Ripley, signing off."
5(a). Claim you have a deformity, physical or mental, that may/may not explain away your behaviour. Pretend to know nothing about it, just that you've got it, even if the nature of the illness you have chosen makes not knowing about it an impossibility.
6. Repeat from 1, with added historical revisionism, self-satisfaction and sly misogyny.

EDIT: thank you Brainiac for point 5(a).
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 16 Jul 2006, 20:01, archived)

A Parrott process map
Perhaps we can re-program him?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 16 Jul 2006, 20:02, archived)

Good point
well made.
( ArthurTheRat, Sun 16 Jul 2006, 20:06, archived)

Haha
jesus that 'PARROTT SMASH!' bit made me laugh stupidly
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Sun 16 Jul 2006, 20:07, archived)