Here is a happy little story my friends and I wrote:One day, the grumbledook pottered down to the local dingley fairy dell to show the dingley fucking fairies how to build adequate defences against sudden penguin attack. Unfortunately, without sufficient penguin deflecting armour, the poor fairies had little protection against the wrath of the demented Orange-wielding warrior from beyond the Slate Mine, and they could not envisage a more distressing picnic. Not once did he stop to consider the sickening consequences of what would prove to be an advantageous business proposal between himself and Lionel Blair.
The grumbledook pulled a most tremendous thing from his lizard-skin handbag: it was a bright yellow wellington, which he used to fight off a swarm of radioactive killer bees. Then, trouble arrived! The dreaded woe kitten descended from the top of a McVities lorry which was carrying a fuckload of Jaffa Cakes to Brian Blessed and boomed rather apathetically "Woe Unto Thee". Not that he normally said this, or wanted to, but the Pope with his whip and leather bikini drove his Popemobile all over the shop, bellowing loudly: "Bring me your dingleyness! Pickled in your love juices. Otherwise, I shall shave your mother, shan't I, Kitty?"
The woe kitten turned on him, spraying forth its vomitous bile of mini clones of Peter Gabriel's chin, until the Pope of Bong took out his enormous phallic plasma cutter, and removed their will to live.
"Oh no!" they wailed, as the Pigeon of Doom furiously wanked off at a picture of Judy Finnegan. The Pigeon's pulsating cranial vein exploded, spraying passers by with secreted resin. Agonized, the people waxed most furious, charging angrily toward the Pigeon, when the pigeon unexpectedly inploded with the force of fifty megatons of gelignite. Seeing the carnage, Brian Blessed and his warm fluffy flying frog decided to create a replica ferret harness, to control the mighty poo headed winkle. Without strong enough lengths of spaghetti junction reserved in the name of Serious Van Der Wankywankywankwankpiss, the posse was unable to bring home the winkle's most outrageous book of slimy pornographic material and the winkle was aroused within an impossibly short second. Thirteen point four nano-seconds later, the skidmarked underpants imploded with enough force to skullfuck a newly born vole, thus creating a malevolent black hole. The Grumbledook's stupendous raging hormones caused a build-up of erotic energy, causing Mr Wankywankywankwankpiss to start a striptease.
"It's working!" cried the Dreaded Woe Kitten, "They're leaving the dingley fairy dell for the outskirts of the civilized region of Gotteros. The tiger-sparrows will rape your dying children, and the Dictator, Gotty, will save the children for genetic experiments, but then he'll give them to the army for bagel-making purposes.
And I then turned it into a comic:
Part 1
Part 2
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Bob Todd whee, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 13:24,
archived)
*glances at all the text**sees words 'The woe kitten turned on him, spraying forth its vomitous bile of mini clones of Peter Gabriel's chin.*
For that statement alone you get a woo
and for the whole thing
you get a Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay+
(
Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 13:30,
archived)
