Perhaps a stab vest is more in order.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

What I'm going to do, right, is get the missus to carry the bags.
I'll walk a bit behind her making sure I don't look at all like a tourist. Sorted.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:02, archived)

Good plan!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

WOMEN; nothing if not expendable.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)