I thought we were going to be friends?
Why did you have to say something mean?

I'm really hurt.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

I love you.
Sorry.
I take it back.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

I don't care,
I just got a personal e-mail from Roger Federer.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

"Dear Stalker,
Stop senting me pictures of you eating Mars bars, you look like
you've had your eyes thumbed in by an angry sailor.

I've forwarded your details onto the Police.

Yours vomitingly,

Roger"
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

He actually started off with "Thank you for your interest",
before pretty much saying what you said.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)