I wish I had considered this when doing staff appraisals
"so, minion, currently my options are promote you, demote you, leave you where you are or rape you to death"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)

It'd be a hard one to get past HR
But once they begin to see the benefits of raping staff to death they'll come round to the right way of thinking.

It could even be a slogan for attracting new employees to companies

'Pricewaterhousecooper;we'll rape your career'
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)

ultimately, though
we could get it past HR by raping them to death. Win-win situation, and the circle is complete.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)

Oi.
*Is in HR*
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)

then
please, PLEASE come and sort my HR out?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)

What's wrong with it?
Aren't they CIPD trained?
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)

I don't know
I've only actually once given them a proper HR problem to handle, which they promptly bottled and left me to handle. So I'm generalising as usual.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

That's a shame.
There's loads of free HR advice out there, ACAS are really good.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

I know, but .... that's what they are bloody for.
Otherwise, I might as well not bother. Except I have to follow all their rules for recruiting. See "I'm not allowed to interview someone that I alone am employing with my own funds because I haven't been on the HR 'interviewing people' course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

You are nice though, and focus on the 'human' part of 'human resources'

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

*Beams*
Yes I am nice. As long as people don't take the piss. Even then they get a chance to hit the undo button.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)

Ive come to the conclusion that HR are mainly aces.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)

We do our best.
The trick is to be trusted by both employers and employees and be known by both to do the right thing.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)