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Okay so I have my appraisal in an hour.
I'm still filling the bloody thing in. I don't know if to be truthful in the 'where do you see yourself in the short term/long term'? I'm pretty sure I don't want to be doing what I'm doing but do I tell them that?

Alternatively; what's your favourite ice lolly? I like fruit pastille lollies.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:30, archived)
Say you see yourself with your boss' job within 6 months, after they die in a tragic accident.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)
don't forget the quotation marks around the word "accident"

(I helped save b3ta! Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
i bet it's because they're cock shaped!
that's my suggestion for what to write in your appraisal, obviously
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
oh someone with CANCER must have posted

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
you had your half hour in the sun

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:33, archived)
then developed melanoma in a cruel twist of fate

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
it never rains but it pours
then ssg drowns
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)
*plays the Morrissette card*
*trips over spoons*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)
It has just occurred to me that if you were to say a Morrisette were a female Morrissey, you would annoy a lot of people.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
eww

(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)
i have nettle stings on my arm, leg, foot and bottom.
they stingle :(
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
*fights off all other pandas to be the first to ask*
do you need any cream rubbed on 'em?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

cream

spunk
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)
how would THAT help?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)
lols.
maybe some dock leaves?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)
NONE OF THIS:
d c
leaves
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
awww MAN

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)
if i staple enough together
you can have a fancy dockleaf leotard
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)
OH MY.
can you do me a dock leaf skirt and hedgerow flower lei?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)
i can try my best!
will it guarantee a hula dance?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)
SOMEONE will dance.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
when i wield my nettle whip :P

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
Don't roll in nettles then.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
i didnt mean to.
i thought i pulled them all up first.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)
*kicks you in the cancer*

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)
Just draw a picture of yourself
and then draw a picture of yourself with a beard

and then leave a footnote "hair indicates experience"
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
i am one experienced motherfucker

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
I like this very much

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
don't say "doin' your wife"

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
doin' your... son?

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
*recognition five*

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:37, archived)
say "doin' your wife"

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)
she's bound to listen to you instead of me
i pushed her in a bush once. she's never got over it
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:39, archived)
Pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
it's true!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:44, archived)
I've tried pushing a girl's bush before and I got the same reaction

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:51, archived)
the pfft?
it's air escaping. they need it done every so often so they don't explode
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:53, archived)
It was a lust queef

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:54, archived)
i cause them wherever i go

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
it's like a squelchy fanfare whenever i come into a room

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
When I enter a room women engorge whatever they're sitting on due to moistness and then slap themselves stupid
in the tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
A fannyfare

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
ewwwlol

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
WAHEY!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
Put something like
"Although I am currently happy in my current position, long term I feel I will wish to progress further"
(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)
or say "doin' your wife"

(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
be reasonably truthful
if your boss thinks that doing this job is the culmination of all your hopes and dreams, he/she is a fucking retard and needs a short sharp visit from the smack fairy.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:35, archived)
See, I was thinking something along these lines.
I'm just trying to figure out how to write it without saying 'not working in administration'.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
get me out of this fucking job you fucko
thanksverymuchbye
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)
kthnxbye
surely?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)

well...are there any opportunities within your company for you to get out of administration? Ask in your appraisal, might be an opportunity to get somewhere via moving within the org rather than looking elsewhere
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
then emphasise the company/area
rather than the job "I've enjoyed my time working for X but think that working in administration at this level is ultimately not testing my abilities enough and so I would aim to progress, possibly into Y area or Z area.

alternatively, "filing? would you like to stick your head in between them and go rbbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbbr, too? I've got a fucking degree, you cock, a monkey could do this. and would probably be less inclined to fling poo, too"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:48, archived)
Ha ha ha ha.
I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)

We the American working population
Hate the fact that eight hours a day
Is wasted on chasing the dream of someone that isn't us
And we may not hate our jobs,
But we hate jobs in general
That don't have to do with fighting our own causes.
We the American working population
Hate the nine-to-five day-in/day-out
When we'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the pasttimes
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:56, archived)
hey! that's not an acrostic!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
Whiab twhwbtt, brother.
Whiab twhwbtt.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
Yes tell them
Or they will never consider you for anything else.

And rape you to death.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)
I wish I had considered this when doing staff appraisals
"so, minion, currently my options are promote you, demote you, leave you where you are or rape you to death"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
It'd be a hard one to get past HR
But once they begin to see the benefits of raping staff to death they'll come round to the right way of thinking.

It could even be a slogan for attracting new employees to companies

'Pricewaterhousecooper;we'll rape your career'
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
ultimately, though
we could get it past HR by raping them to death. Win-win situation, and the circle is complete.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)
Oi.
*Is in HR*
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)
then
please, PLEASE come and sort my HR out?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
What's wrong with it?
Aren't they CIPD trained?
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
I don't know
I've only actually once given them a proper HR problem to handle, which they promptly bottled and left me to handle. So I'm generalising as usual.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)
That's a shame.
There's loads of free HR advice out there, ACAS are really good.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)
I know, but .... that's what they are bloody for.
Otherwise, I might as well not bother. Except I have to follow all their rules for recruiting. See "I'm not allowed to interview someone that I alone am employing with my own funds because I haven't been on the HR 'interviewing people' course.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
You are nice though, and focus on the 'human' part of 'human resources'

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)
*Beams*
Yes I am nice. As long as people don't take the piss. Even then they get a chance to hit the undo button.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
Ive come to the conclusion that HR are mainly aces.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
We do our best.
The trick is to be trusted by both employers and employees and be known by both to do the right thing.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)
Say something like "doin' your wife"

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)

I just found the most boring competition ever to be run
www.frizzell.co.uk/unison/car/competition_winner
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)
Next week's competiton: "Where is my pencil?"

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
in your 'biker mice from mars' pencil case
PRIZES PLZ
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:41, archived)
No fair!
You saw me put it in there!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
you didn't put in any small print about
people who know the answer not being allowed to enter
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:49, archived)
:(
"nowhere 2B found"
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
if that won
what kinda entries lost?
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:42, archived)
"UNISONPlus is...
I've only got one leg."
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
pffffft
"UNISONPLUS is...I've enclosed a fiver, mums the word!"
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
UNISONPlus is...
i bloody love you've been framed
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:46, archived)
Say something like you want to broaden your horizons and grow within your position.
You want to learn more about how others work in order to better understand your own work.
Also, you'll be doing their wife.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
i keep getting those every year and I never fill the things in
they do not honestly want to know what I think of their management style...as its shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
I'm quite fond of Nobbly Bobblys
*has one*
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
You should see a doctor about that.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:43, archived)
stds are on the rise in your area

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:45, archived)
this is a rare thread where most people have ignored the food-based question!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)

hummus and felafel in pitta with salad, a bag of pretzels and an iced coffee...what?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:52, archived)
minimilkminimilkminimilk
And yeah, tell them. I work in a pub and they are completely aware that I'm just doing it for the money and something to do.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:47, archived)
'bebop, not rocksteady'

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:52, archived)
casey jones is the best

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:00, archived)
Of course you tell them.
It's an appraisal, not a telling off. You tell them you want more skills, different skills, to move up, sideways, do different things, etc.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)
In other news, I've just spent the last hour recording a twenty strong Swahili a capella choir.
Turns out people do actually say hakuna matata.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
Jumbo, assanti-sana !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)
Yes, yes, I know I'm very very sexy
you don't have to keep going on about it in Swahili.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)
Magnum, definitely.
I've just finished one actually, nyom.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:10, archived)
Just cry all over the form
That'll be awkward
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)
ACE

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)