Bar of soap in a sock, doesn't leave a bruise on the outside.
Make sure you have it on you at all times so you don't get shanked.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

Newspaper rolled up and folded in half is my favourite. Chelsea Brick.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)