In that case
I shall single handedly cut the earths population by a third.

I shall be declared world leader for my work in reducing overpopulation and stopping the ensuing famine that has been caused...

or something
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

Although, you would probably need to be the world leader to cut the population...
*Mind recurses recursively*
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 21:29, archived)

A claw hammer
and a few beers and I'm willing to start straight away
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Sun 10 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)