My cousin cut her finger earlier.
She just posted this status on Facebook...

"Away to bed with a sore finger, *sniff*!!"
It took her ages to realise why I was taking the piss.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:08, archived)

Your cousin is a fucking mong and a testament to why families shouldn't inbreed.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:11, archived)

amazing

( Glovington, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:12, archived)

When I pointed out to her that it reads really badly she thought I was taking the piss out of that fucking horrible Scots Text speak she does.
I had to translate that OP for you lot.

EDIT: The Original: "Awa ti ma beddy we a sare finger, sniff!!!"
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:12, archived)

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, SCOTLAND.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:14, archived)

It's the *sniff* at the end though.
It's a perfect wanking status. With added pervy sniff. I find it hard to believe she did it by accident. But she did.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:15, archived)