Well those shitcunt benders obviously don't care
I don't know why I bother Shax, I really don't.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 May 2012, 9:19, archived)

Dear Mods,
Please can you fix it for Mono and Baldmonkey to give a toss before Two Hats dies?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 25 May 2012, 9:24, archived)

I often read these letters wondering if they are real, so I thought I'd write in about an amazing experience I had recently.
I was working late and...

EDIT: This doesn't make sense now. I'm leaving it up though.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 May 2012, 9:25, archived)

I was working late and
Mono and Baldmonkey came to my office and gave a toss all over my keyboard. The only keys they missed were A, B, K, and U, so that's how I invented thw word Bukkake. The end.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 25 May 2012, 9:29, archived)

This is factually accurate

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 May 2012, 9:37, archived)