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ok the sort of thing MY dad keeps in the loft.
or rather, the garage, in his case. Old lawn mowers, broken garden furniture, useless carpet offcuts, a dismantled pianola. The loft is as bad mind you, but despite it being full the only specific thing I can think of that's in there is the stack of about a dozen or so Amstrad PenPads that he got in a moment of Delboyesque impulse buying insanity.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 12:47, archived)
all of those could be used in the filming of hardcore dutch porn

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 13:06, archived)
The Amstrad Penpads especially.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 6 Dec 2012, 13:09, archived)